is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
