So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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