Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
