how can u be prego again
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
