I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Randomize
