16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just high enough for therapy.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
