btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
