So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Randomize