Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
