I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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