you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
