So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
