They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
FUCK WHALES
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
