I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
