You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
