can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
