I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We had sex on a dog bed..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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