I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
