So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
they need to just BURY HIM!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
