it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
