PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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