I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
3 2 1 whiskey
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
