Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
