operation harelip BJ is a go
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
