Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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