She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
