The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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