Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
