he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize