he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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