Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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