it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Fuck appropriateness.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize