why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
