I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
