I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
