i can't believe i had my finger in that
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
