: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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