found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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