yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
