I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
