dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Non-Jews are for practice
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
