I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Boobs speak an international language.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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