Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
