So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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