i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
