One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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