Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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