Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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