when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
