Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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