If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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