Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
