one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
