then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
