I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
