is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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