Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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