this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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